The Thaw
by connielea
Summary: Andy has moved on with his life. But life has a way of taking you where you need to be. Or bringing it to you. Minor grammatical updates. And, oh yeah, I squealed when they said "Anneke"...what are the chances?
1. Chapter 1

The Thaw

Anneke Mies was used to dealing with the occasional curiosity about her husband's last name, but she was unprepared for the onslaught she encountered as she enrolled Olivia into public school.

"Olivia Botwin? Any relation to _the _Botwins?" She got that question, in all its variants, at least once a week now that their circle had expanded beyond the neighborhood preschool. She took her cue from Andy and answered with a vague, "Mmm, yeah, sort of, through a few layers of marriage I think. We don't have any regular contact or anything..." Inevitably the questioner would still want to know Anneke's opinion on Prop 209, or employee drug testing, or the rezoning battle downtown, or whatever form the latest the now-legalized marijuana debate had taken. Being Dutch, she had dealt with this type of small talk ever since she came to the States, so handling it in a neutral way was her specialty.

Andy had a lot less patience on the subject, and would often launch into a long tirade about how the American history of prohibition had led to the rise of the mafia and gang violence and the highest per capita non-violent-offender incarceration rate of the modern era, and that now that legalization itself was no longer under debate, at least we could focus on something more useful, like Universal Healthcare or Feeding the Hungry or Paying Our Teachers a Living Wage, or whatever cause he had a bee in his bonnet about this week. His altruistic and esoteric speeches would distract (or bore) the listener beyond any follow up questions they might have dared to ask.

Which was a good thing, she thought to herself, since they had no desire to have their circle of acquaintances be aware of Andy's status as a major shareholder and board-member-in-absentia of LaPlante Industries. It's not that he was ashamed of his participation in the venture; despite its size and revenue, LaPlante was one of those "little cutting-edge companies that made it big while sticking it to The Man," so it had a certain panache with their liberal crowd. She suspected that it was really that he didn't want his former connection to the President/CEO to become an issue in their lives. Or their marriage.

Anneke knew that Andy had taken a long time to thaw, and that the preceding events had to have been extremely painful for him to be able to freeze his family out.

"You're my family now," he would say, "I have no need for the past. I'm free."

At first she had trouble believing him; trouble believing that he was really over Nancy. She was the woman that he had followed around like a puppy for 10 years; the woman who was somehow involved in every story and every adventure worth telling. Somehow, this woman who had essentially been his wife, and who was forever present in their current marriage as a ghost or a shadow - somehow, he had found the strength to leave her. He must have been in so much pain. And yet so strong. Anneke's heart ached for her husband's former struggles.

In the end, it was practicality and fatherhood that started the melt. Doug and Silas had made some gestures from time to time, but Andy had not reciprocated. By the time Natalie was born, Andy had realized that a chef at the local Moosewood cooperative and an Alternative Therapy Practitioner were never going to be able to afford the education or the life that he wanted for his daughters.

He had deliberately ignored the heavy manila-sized envelopes that arrived. He knew that they were sent to him out of guilt, or loyalty, or love. None of which he wanted to face. When he finally succumbed, he was surprised and touched to discover that he was a founding member of LaPlante Industries (technically at least, and probably involving some forged versions of his signature, but still) and that he owned 2% of every Silasation Emporium on the East Coast. And that his dividends had been going into 529s for Olivia, and now Natalie. LaPlante Industries was definitely well-informed about his life.

Doug was thrilled to hear from him and caught him up on their latest adventures: the absurd and yet _still _on-going standoff over zoning laws in New Jersey, the battle with the mafia for control of NYC, the Cubans in Miami, and the hostile encroachment by Starbucks Plus on the West Coast. And the really crazy set of biological-but-could-have-passed-for-identical twins he met while setting up the Chicago office.

Andy just smiled into the camera and let the nostalgia wash over him.

Doug turned serious, "she misses you, you know," he ventured.

"No. No, Don't go there." Andy shut him down. "I'm not going down that road again. I'm glad everyone is doing well, but I don't want it. I'm happy. I want to keep my distance. I like my life. I mean, I love it. My life. And my family. This family."

"OK, OK dude. It's OK." Doug reassured him. "Just keep in touch a bit. Let us know how you're doing. Send pictures of those cute little girls as they grow into bodacious hotties. That's all. Just don't freeze us out completely. We love you, man. I love you. But not in a gay way, I mean." he added.

Andy grinned as he closed the session. Same old Doug.

Little did he know how soon he would be seeing him in person, nor how ugly the circumstances would be.

TO BE CONTINUED.


	2. Chapter 2

Andy felt Anneke's body go tense as they woke to the harsh sound of the phone. He checked the time as he reached for it. 5:45 am. Almost noon in Eindhoven. Just about the earliest you would make that first call to the States if you had been waiting all morning to do so. He heard Anneke's ragged intake of breath as he made the intercept, just as he had done a year ago with her father's stroke.

A mixture of relief, confusion and then dread flooded through him as he heard his nephew's voice instead of his mother-in-law's.

"Uncle Andy?" Silas sounded like he was 14 again. Not just the uncertainty in his voice, but even the use of the moniker "Uncle." Andy had the presence of mind to reassure his wife that it was his family on the call, not hers. The almost imperceptible flash of relief passed through her eyes in an instant. 5:30 was still too early for it not to be horrible news. She reached over to gently rub his back.

It was Andy's turn to steady himself. In a way, he had always been expecting this. Even though her business ventures were legit now (well, mostly, technically, sort of), Nancy had always been running on borrowed time. She was never content with the status quo, and thrill seeking was the oxygen that kept her going. If she didn't have a worthy enemy to outsmart or outmaneuver, she either found one or created one. This dreaded day was actually long overdue, and he felt a strange sort of relief that it was finally here.

He took a deep breath, "How did hit happen? Tell me."

His nephew's next statement forced him to recalibrate. "No, it's Shane. He's been missing for two days. They found his body in dumpster on the pier about an hour ago. Supposedly a mafia hit. Mom has gone to identify him." his voice cracked, "I offered to go, but she insisted on doing it, and doing it alone. I couldn't stop her."

A wave of nausea washed through Andy as he struggled to figure out how he felt. He loved Shane, of course, even if he didn't always understand him. He transitioned to despair, not only for the loss of Shane, but the loss of the _other_ Shane that could have been, if only the circumstances had been different. This, of course, led straight back to Judah, the original loss. And now the loss of Judah's bloodline. Over. The End. No more. Unfair. Unfair, Unfair, Unfair.

Andy tried to focus in on what Silas was saying. He was asking him to come back to Connecticut, to attend the burial and then to sit shiva with the family, if he was willing.

"And can you bring your wife and daughters? I know they are too young to stay for whole week, but it might help. You know, for us to be able to see more Botwins for a couple of days. For her to see, mostly. To see that there _are_ more, I guess. I know it's a lot to ask."

Andy paused to think it through. He looked back at Anneke, his amazing, devoted wife. In every way Nancy's equal, but who had created a partnership with him that nurtured instead of tortured. He tried to picture her in the same room as Nancy but the image wouldn't come into focus; it kept slipping away. They were so different – he wasn't sure that the laws of nature would allow them to exist in the same time and space. That little spark of thrill seeker buried deep inside him started to tickle. He pushed it back down again.

"I'll come out for the funeral and burial, and then maybe Anneke and the girls can join us later on the weekend. We'll see how it goes."

The relief was evident in Silas' tone, "Thank you so much, Andy. We'll have the jet pick you up at Thompkins Regional this afternoon. I'll call you back as soon as the flight plan is filed. This is really going to help her. Help us. Thank you. And I love you."

"I love you too, Silas." Andy hung up and turned to his wife. She opened her arms as he lay back down and wept.

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. Chapter 3

'OK, so Nancy still doesn't get the basic concept of sitting Shiva', Andy thought, 'At least she gave it a day and a half this time.' The limo pulled on to the tarmac at Chester airport and Andy braced himself for the encounter. The merging of his two worlds. Nancy and Anneke. Then and Now. Before and After. This was going to happen, for real, right now, whether he was ready or not.

He was glad that she stayed in the limo as he greeted his family at the bottom of the stairs. Olivia was overjoyed to see him, shouting "Daddy! Daddy Daddy! Daddy!' Never had hearing his real name been more welcome. He took a moment to take it all in: his girls. His perfect family unit. He nuzzled into Anneke's neck and took a deep breath. "I'm so glad you're here. It's been weird. Really weird. I need you. I need to feel normal again."

Andy's discomfort escalated in the limo. Natalie insisted on sitting between both her parents, and he knew better than to argue with a 2 year old. He watched while Nancy and Anneke tried to make nice, but even then Nancy could barely take her eyes off of Natalie. For the first time in days, Andy could read Nancy clearly. Unlike the predominantly Dutch appearance of her older sister, Natalie was so obviously a Botwin. She had Judah and Shane's coloring and eyes. As Nancy fell into those eyes, Andy recognized her longing for connection in any form it would take. It was a familiar dynamic. He had spent years being the object of that longing.

As usual, the extroverted Olivia had decided that Nancy was her new best friend, and she proceeded to tell her _all_ about the airplane ride. The nonstop chatter from his daughter provided the cover for him to study Nancy and Anneke in the same frame. Dark and Light. Night and Day. Pain and Joy. Love and Love.

Andy was grateful for the chaos that accompanied their entry into the house. Just the process of introducing his family to his family provided a welcome distraction. He hadn't really thought through the dynamics of having Anneke and Nancy and Jill and his daughters and the twins and Silas and Doug and Rabbi Dave and the Rebbetzin all within the same four walls, but at least for a moment it wasn't _all_ about Nancy. Well, at least not overtly.

Rabbi Dave picked up on the general discomfort and did his best to carry the conversation where needed. He was himself in something of a spot. His lovely bride did not have the full details of his brief dalliance with their neighbor; it was something he had never quite found the right moment to explain. He caught Andy's eye and shared a moment of connection. He gestured toward the kitchen and the two stole away for some alone time.

"Your daughters are delightful, Andy. Mazeltov," Dave started. "And Anneke is charming. I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you." Andy reflected for a moment, "I never knew it could be so easy. It really is, you know. Easy. So easy." His voice trailed off as his thoughts turned inward.

The rabbi paused and then ventured, "Do you ever find that you miss the...the not-easy?"

Andy's reaction was automatic and vehement, "No! There's no reason to create trouble for trouble's sake. Life gives us enough burdens without generating them for no reason. Look at where we are and why we're here. Shane is proof enough. There's no need for it. I just want my life, my easy life, my life with my wife and my daughters and my restaurant and my friends. I want nothing to do with this mess. Nothing to do with _her!_ After all, we're all just bit players in her stage production and even though the posters and playbill say "a lighthearted, sexy romp" we all know deep down that it's actually a tragedy. By the third act, everyone associated with the production winds up dead, until only the playwright is left standing alone on stage wondering who could possibly be responsible for all these bodies piled up around her. No thank you. I had my share of not easy. I did my time. I'll take my boring life now, thank you very much."

"But what if the playwright decides she wants to change the ending?" Nancy asked from the doorway. "What if she is finally ready but doesn't know how?"

TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
